The way you talk to your children

“The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice.” 

― Peggy O'Mara

This quote got me thinking.  What does our children's inner voice sound like?  What does my inner voice sound like?  My first reaction was to feel discouraged and beat myself up.  Good indication what my inner voice sounds like.  After I came back down from that negative reaction, trying to not feel defeated and inadequate, I tried to come up with some ways to be proactive. Below are just a few ideas.

• What can I do to change my children's inner voice?
• Increase my awareness.  So much of what we do is reactive parenting.  Try to pause and become more aware of how you speak and interact. 
• Give them time.  The way your child spells love.....TIME.  Quality time is important but the quantity is the key.  
• Look for ways to say Yes.  At times it feels like the only thing you and your children say is "NO".  Look for small ways to say "yes".  They need to hear and feel your pleasure and permission.  
• Read to them. Make this a fun nurturing time.  If you are stressed and they are fidgety, then wait.  Make sure this is consistently important and special.   
• Pay attention to how you greet them.  It is amazing what affect a positive greeting can have on someones else's self esteem.  How you part can also effect  the self talk of the people you love.  Be positive and loving.  Look for ways to smile and touch them to convey affection.  
• Model the behavior you want.  Model the outward behavior of being more positive in your words and actions.  Also take responsibility for your own negative self talk.  
• How Do I change my inner voice?
• This is vital - you give what you have.  If you want to change how your react.  Or you want to speak in a more positive way you have to address your inner voice. If the voice in your head is always negative....that is what you are unconsciously giving.  You don't wake up in the morning deciding to be negative.  You just wake up in the morning and give what you have.  
• One of my first blog posts was "What Does it Sound Like in Your Head?"  The post explains self-talk and how to change it.  
• Pay Attention to the Big 4.  The Big 4 are Sleep, Exercise, Pleasure and Nutrition.  Their is a wealth of information and research about the positive effects of managing and controling these areas.  


What is your reaction to the quote?  What ways do you try to be positive with yourself and your kids?